Good Morning (night or afternoon) world!! It has been a long while for me. It's almost March!! I have been very distracted with my thoughts about my body and worries about my future in this body. I have been a healer for some time now, but getting answers as to why my body is doing what it is doing isn't easy for me. Self-healing isn't self-healing fast enough, etc., and all while I am dealing with my own brain and self-worth or image, I have to take care of a whole house and family.
I know I am not alone; I know there are many women in the same boat as I am in. There may be some men as well. I am just able to relate to the women a bit more...(insert wink).
I know I will be healed of everything very soon, but I realized I was rejecting seeking my own help because I was afraid of what I would find out or it would be too hard to believe the message I was receiving. So far, everything keeps leaning towards me having a hysterectomy, which is terrifying, and I don't want to do this. I also believe we all have the power of our mind to overcome all obstacles in life, but for some reason, when it comes to me and my body, I have no faith. Why is that? People have faith in me, and people have been healed by me.
So why do I lack faith in MY OWN BODY to heal? I literally did so much work on helping people connect back with their own body and loving their body, and talking to their body. Why did I forget myself? I know I am not alone; there are many helpers in the world that can help others, but when it comes to themselves, they are last. SO I am here to tell you, "it is ok, and you are ok, and you are not alone in your journey." You must not feel weak or less than because you aren't following your own knowing. It is a process of finding yourself once again.
We are always peeling back another layer. Every so often, we reach an understanding, then we get hit with some kind of lesson. I feel this is the last and biggest lesson for major "mother" and "healer" archetype persons, the group of us on the planet with childhood traumas, the ones who struggled to put themselves first. This is it, everything hitting you right now, everything that seems hard, health issues especially. It is time to put yourself first, have faith in your abilities to change your health reality. You made it so far in life; somehow, some way, you made it. You can do it again, but this time the focus is on you and your time, and what you will do with it for yourself.
I pulled 3 cards today from the "Health and the Law of Attraction deck" by Esther Hicks. I wanted to share it with you.
When I started to read these cards, all I could think was, "Damn, why did I wait so long to pull cards on myself?" These cards just pull me right back into place. I share this story with you because of my first thoughts after reading all of the cards: "I know someone needs to hear this." Once I got "ill" again (I don't know what to call my issue because I am not really sick with anything, but my body isn't being "normal"), I just went down in a hole. Like, "What the fuck, body!?" I don't want to remove a part of me!! I don't want anyone cutting me up!! I had no other thoughts. I didn't have happy thoughts like "I AM HEALED OF ALL AILMENTS." I didn't go into mind-clearing mode at all. I went into digging up reasons why all of this sucks. Complain, be unhappy, let everyone know I am unhappy. This wasn't entirely my fault; I have to blame some of this on my hormones—they are fiery!! I have a temper, and I can't use other therapies I know that balance hormones. I have to now deal with my temper some other way. Because I didn't take time to work with myself like I should have, I let my family feel the pain for over a month. We all love each other still; everyone is understanding, and I am very apologetic once I realize I am off the rails. Yet, now I will work on myself even more!
I am being really candid here, and I am letting you all know this stuff because I know I am not alone and there are many out there going through something. We have to turn the page in the book. It will go from chapter "them" to chapter "ME", now. Focus on yourself, this is the only valid selfish thing to do in the world...I think.
There's no complaining, there's no comparing anymore. It's literally your thoughts, your beliefs, and daily habits. Where is your focus and attitude? I am going back to my own basics!! Daily journaling, exercising to move energy, and drinking my water with sea salt and prayer instilled in it. If you didn't know, you can place your hands around a glass of water and instill thoughts of love and healing into the water and then drink it. I have a grounding mat which I try to use every day for over 30 minutes, so that was added earlier this year! I needed to go back to adding my intention to be set on having a clear mental state, being focused on my habits, my feelings, and being in the present moment, with the focus and attention on love. Any negative thoughts, turn them back around to loving thoughts.
This life is multifaceted! We are a physical body living in a multidimensional world. We are going through ascension which is changing our body; we should take all the changes happening to us with LOVE and not Hate or Fear. We are constantly being pulled down to our old selves, where we fall into old habits of lower energy behavior. Not to say that any of this is "bad." We are constantly fluctuating between high and low energy. Where we stay is what matters. Do we recognize that we are low? Once we do, do we understand the purpose and then move back into the heart center? Love yourself, and bring your energy back up, or do you stay in the lower energies a little longer?
In this life, there is literally no right or wrong. There is no bad or good. All is divine, and all is well or "just." Your reality is what it is for you, as my reality became what it was for me. I share this with you to give you some hope: "This too shall pass."
There was something there for you to learn, remember, and bring yourself back to yourself. Another thing I can add here is that you remember that you truly have all the answers for yourself. You just need to ask the right questions and listen to the answers the universe is sending your way. This current moment, I used a card deck I haven't touched in a long time. I am so grateful that I did that today. I will go back to listening to her (Esther Hicks) great messages on YouTube as well. Something that you can do as well. If you don't have cards at home, well, you can always call me! I am still here for you, but my time is very limited since I have to really focus on my body now! xoxoxox
I love you, and I hope this made sense!!
REMEMBER ALWAYS REMEMBER:::::: YOU ARE LOVE YOU ARE LOVED!!!
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